Do You Worry About Things You Cannot Change?

Worksheet can be found at: https://media.centervention.com/pdf/circle-of-control.pdf

Do you find yourself worrying about things you can't control? This can be a very frustrating and anxiety provoking loop to get stuck in.  This strategy is not a very helpful one as it can leave you feeling helpless and defeated.  Replaying images or conversations in your head over and over again is not helpful. Ask yourself whether your thinking is helpful. If it isn't try and change the way you speak to yourself.  Instead of saying " I cant", try " I will do my best to focus on what I have the power to change". 

The goal is to put the focus on things that we have the power to control as this can refocus our energy and effort on things we can change. Recognizing that, sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude.  This will allow you to let go of the things you don' have power over. Doing this will make you better able to cope with difficult situations.

If you find yourself worrying, take a minute to examine the things you do and do not have control over. The activity worksheet above can help us re-frame our worries in a way that makes them seem more manageable.  It reminds us that even if we feel overwhelmed by things that we cant change their are often small things that we can do.  Also, consider pairing this activity with a coping skill (deep breathing, coloring, exercise, etc.) to deal with the emotions of things that may be out of our control.

In this activity, write down or draw things that we can control inside the circle.  For example, we can control our thoughts, our emotions, our behaviors, our attitude, how we handle situations.  Then, brainstorm some things that are not in our control, and write those outside of the circle.  For example, the weather, other people, who our siblings are, and other peoples emotions or actions. 

Covid-19 has been something in all our lives that we don't have control over which can produce a lot of anxiety.  You can use this activity to help with identifying things you can't control, such as, being in quarantine, how long it will last, how many people get sick or if others get sick.  However, you CAN control your ability to stay safe by staying home, washing you hands, and deciding how you spend your time in quarantine.  Approaching it in this way is more empowering and makes it seem a little more manageable.

Additional Reading - https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201705/how-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-change